Okay, here is my pitch in a nut shell, please give me feedback if you like. The idea origionally was to create a series of short stories that spanned the whole world we will see where God takes it though.
Alambraidria a world of superheroes, which was nearly torn apart by war that spanned their world and beyond 1,000 years ago.
Today heroes stand perplexed at the growing number of super villains in their world that threaten to overwhelm them.
Here: A hero fights to unite the varied factions of heroes, A public accountant dreams of becoming a superhero and a woman with an infamous past fights to survive.
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I'm definitely new to pitches, so I'm not sure my advice is worth the screen space it occupies. That said, this pitch struck me more as movie trailer than book cover blurb. I'm not sure how you go about pitching a series of short stories, though. Any advice from our more seasoned writers?
ReplyDeleteThis felt a little disjointed as I read it. In a typical pitch letter you have one paragraph to devote to a synopsis, and obviously you want to do it in as entertaining a way as possible. (Hence the term "Hook.")I took your material, imagined a few linking circumstances and came up with the following:
ReplyDeleteAlambraidria, a world of superheroes, was nearly torn apart by a war that spanned their world and beyond. Now, after 1,000 years of peace, a growing number of super villains have emerged and threaten to tear this once peaceful world apart. The defenders can never prevail unless they unite, yet this sudden crisis has inexplicably split them into competing factions. All seems lost until the unlikely duo of a public accountant with dreams bigger than life and a woman trying to forget her infamous past step forward to lead the Alambraidrians to victory.
Not great, but you get the idea.
Peace and Blessings
Questions: Alambraidria is where?
ReplyDeleteIs "Here" on earth? When is the story set? Present day?
What I'm thinking your stories are about is how the accountant and the woman from earth, who are not superheroes, manage to lead the superheroes to victory.
If that's your idea, I like it!
But, your pitch as written does not get that across (if I managed to understand this correctly).
Needs work--but you have a good premise!
Honestly I haven't finished a story yet so the actually writing a pitch is completely foreign to me. I had no idea what I was doing when I wrote it so I think I did pretty good for not having a clue.
ReplyDeleteIt was actually suppose to be a collection of short stories.
Sheila Alambraidria is another world, similar to earth, but no it's not earth.
The hero has his own story of trying to unite the different factions of superheroes. The woman with an infamous past becomes a superhero, trying to forget her former past as a prostitute. The tax accountant who want to be a superhero, he's kind of like a positive Bella (see Twilight). Rather than wanting to be a damned blood sucker he actually wants to be a good guy.
I thought it would be a nice change from the typical superhero story.
Good point - we're all sick of vampires!
ReplyDeleteAs far as the pitch itself, perhaps it needs to be a little more succinct. Very interesting idea, though.
If you're doing an "elevator pitch", it needs to be about 35 words. Keep in mind that it is something you should be able to easily memorize and it should smoothly flow off the tongue. The theory is an 'elevator pitch' is something you could recite verbatim to an editor or agent whom you meet in an elevator, hallway, or at a writer's conference. :) So you need to grab their interest and their desire to know the end of the story.
ReplyDelete