Sorrow.

Lost a cousin to alcoholism the kid was 18 and had his whole life going for him. I am grieving that. I am also grieving the fact that I never had a childhood. I am ready to grow up but it's really painful. Sometimes it doesn't rain but it pours. The truth is I would love to have a wife and perhaps some kids but I can't lead kids to adulthood if I haven't gone their myself.

I suppose if I was a musician I would write a song about it. You will be missed Max. Good bye cousin I'm sorry I never got to know you. May I add in this dark time some of my friends have been so supportive. In the tough times you find out who your friends are I think. I think though this isn't always a good way to judge our friends are falable. Haven't we failed our friends in some ways?